Sunday, September 30, 2012

Gimme something to believe in...

*Please note this post contains some vulgarity. Sorry!*

Finding words when talking about difficult things like this is always hard. One month ago today Jay and I lost a very good friend of ours, Jared. I had the pleasure of knowing Jared just a few years, however, the time I spent with him were some of the funniest and entertaining of all my life. 

Jared was just 35 when he took his fiance, a dear friend of mine, Britney to AC for her birthday. He had such wonderful plans for her birthday trip. He had such wonderful plans for their life together. Its sad when anyone dies of course, but it seems to hit harder when its someone so young. Someone with thier whole life ahead of them. Jared and Britney were set to be married September of 2013. She kissed him goodnight the night of her birthday and woke up to him gone. 

Death always brings the unanswered questions. Why did they have to die? Why do I have to lose my friend/fiance/child/parent/etc? What could I have done differently? There are never answers to these questions, all you can say and believe is its God's choice, and it was their time. Well sometimes I wanna say fuck that! How can it be someones time at 35? Or 25? Or in the case of my poor cousins son FOUR?! How is that their time? They didn't even have time to live? Well all you can do is have FAITH. Faith is hard to have at times like these. I see my friend heartbroken over the loss of her husband. I see her dealing with issues she shouldn't have to be after his death. I myself have cried myself to sleep over this. I feel guilty that I am going on with my life, and I can kiss my husband goodnight. And she cant. 

I know that she will eventually find someone else, and she will be happy someday. But I cant find the words she needs to hear to comfort her. Nothing is comforting enough to help her. All I can do is be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with. She WILL get thru this, but in the meantime, all I can do is pray and have faith in God. 

Jared's father couldn't have said it better. If you asked him for a dime, he'd give you a quarter. He treated my kids like his own. They called him Uncle Jared. It hit AJ as hard as it hit us. It just sucks. 

If everyone can say a little prayer for my friend Brit, she needs em. Jared, love and miss you buddy!

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