To my "family" and I use that word VERY lightly...

What kind of a Godfather rips up pictures of his goddaughter and her family and then sends it back to me? And another uncle who returns the card? That was real low. I did nothing to you, your problem wasnt with me.

That hurt.

Gimme something to believe in...

*Please note this post contains some vulgarity. Sorry!*

Finding words when talking about difficult things like this is always hard. One month ago today Jay and I lost a very good friend of ours, Jared. I had the pleasure of knowing Jared just a few years, however, the time I spent with him were some of the funniest and entertaining of all my life. 

Jared was just 35 when he took his fiance, a dear friend of mine, Britney to AC for her birthday. He had such wonderful plans for her birthday trip. He had such wonderful plans for their life together. Its sad when anyone dies of course, but it seems to hit harder when its someone so young. Someone with thier whole life ahead of them. Jared and Britney were set to be married September of 2013. She kissed him goodnight the night of her birthday and woke up to him gone. 

Death always brings the unanswered questions. Why did they have to die? Why do I have to lose my friend/fiance/child/parent/etc? What could I have done differently? There are never answers to these questions, all you can say and believe is its God's choice, and it was their time. Well sometimes I wanna say fuck that! How can it be someones time at 35? Or 25? Or in the case of my poor cousins son FOUR?! How is that their time? They didn't even have time to live? Well all you can do is have FAITH. Faith is hard to have at times like these. I see my friend heartbroken over the loss of her husband. I see her dealing with issues she shouldn't have to be after his death. I myself have cried myself to sleep over this. I feel guilty that I am going on with my life, and I can kiss my husband goodnight. And she cant. 

I know that she will eventually find someone else, and she will be happy someday. But I cant find the words she needs to hear to comfort her. Nothing is comforting enough to help her. All I can do is be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with. She WILL get thru this, but in the meantime, all I can do is pray and have faith in God. 

Jared's father couldn't have said it better. If you asked him for a dime, he'd give you a quarter. He treated my kids like his own. They called him Uncle Jared. It hit AJ as hard as it hit us. It just sucks. 

If everyone can say a little prayer for my friend Brit, she needs em. Jared, love and miss you buddy!

I need a new design!

Who here is good with blog design? I want a new design, any input?! Help a girl out! Cant pay much, but maybe we could work something out? Thanks!

Peekaboo! I see you!

So, back by popular demand are my blog posts! Haha. Both Jay and my seester Shannon said I should start writing again so here I am. My house is clean, AJ is at school and Jalyn is "napping" (aka playing while she SHOULD be napping haha). We have a playdate later and AJ has his first school picture day today. I'm a little sad at the thought. I cant believe our little baby is in Kindergarten! Where has the time gone?! So updates...Jay and I celebrated 4 years married in May-GO US! Our time together hasn't always been rainbows and sunshine, but we always pull thru together. We love each other and our kids and there is no one we'd rather spend forever with then each other! Things are going well for us for the most part. We're happy, healthy and together. We've had some "family" with some personal issues who have distanced themselves from us but screw it! Honestly, my life has been less annoying without them! Real family never walks away. Anyway moving on! Khloe is SUCH a good dog. The last time I posted we had gotten her not long before. Jalyn terrorizes that poor girl, shes always dressing her up, making her drink tea etc etc. And Khloe never even walks away. She's SO Starks reincarnated. Best dog EVER. AJ is LOVING Kindergarten, and doing so well. He actually has been getting different work then his classmates due to being so advanced. Even his teacher said he should have started school last year! Damn cutoff. Jalyn is a sassy little diva. I couldn't have been more on point when nicknaming her Diva while I was pregnant. She just started taking real dance classes, and even being the youngest one (she technically isn't old enough to take the class, thank goodness for family owned dance school!) and still was the only one to make it thru the entire class! Go Jalyn! AJ Starts Hip Hop for his second year this Sat. He loved it last year and they did a dance actually around him. Ill have to post the video, super cute! Well that's all for now! I wrote up a bunch of ideas for blog writing so hopefully now that helps me get going! What have YOU all been up to? Any ideas for me to write about? Lets hear em!

Well, hello there!

Its been a little over a YEAR since my last post. One would think not working would open my days up a bit to write more, however, it also meant I would be home with the two minis and have even LESS time then when I was working! LOL So whats happened in the last year you ask? Lets see. The Diva turned one (and now is almost two!) and were finding that her nickname is quite fitting! She has some little personality and already uses her smile and cute face to get herself out of trouble! Spidey turned five, and is just about ready for Kindergarten in September! He goes to Pre-K right now, and loves it, but since hes technically the "oldest" Ive found that his maturity is taking a bit of a decline. Hes super smart, can read, write and do all sorts of smart things. But his listening skills arent exacty the best. Im told by his teachers that he doesnt have the best attetion span, however, they think its cause he is bored. So I guess we wait and see. Starting this week I am going to supplement and begin homeschooling to keep his mind moving. He absolutely LOVES learning so I feel terrible when he comes home and tells me he is bored. So Im looking for ideas/websites/programs/etc to get moving!

Me and the hubby are doing well, not much new news here. We just got a puppy a few weeks ago, a Boxer/Terrier Mix. Her name is Khloe and she is a MUSH! Love her to death and shes perfect for us.

So thats our update! I know its been forever, so what have all of you been up to? How are your families? I have been itching to write lately so I will be here!

RIP Marky

Ive been busy getting my husbands business up and running, and hadnt had time to write. I had a whole bunch of things that I wanted to write about even.

Then I found out some news that hit me like a mack truck. My cousins 4 year old son passed away.

He got caught in an escalator at the mall, and was thrown from the 2nd floor to the 1st. He suffered severe head trauma, and within 24 hours, died from his injuries. The stories reported on the web do not state all of the facts. The comments left on some of these stories have literally made me sick. People placing blame on his mother, my cousin. Saying she should have been watching him. She was RIGHT THERE. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye. Any of us with children know this especially.

Turns out, 2 inspectors have been suspended without pay, because they did not properly inspect the escalator. There was a gap on the top (the one he was pulled through) that measured 6 1/4", as opposed to the maximum allowed 5". There should have been a barrier there to protect something like this from happening. But there wasnt. And now my family has lost a child.

I have been having a very difficult time with this. I havent been able to sleep much. If the nightmares dont keep waking me, its the constant need to check on the kids. This is every parents worst nightmare. Im brought to tears multiple times a day. Marky was only 6mos older then Spidey, and if you look at his picture, you will see how unbelievable the resemblance between them was.

My cousin donated Markys organs. In her worst time made the most unselfish act any mother can & donated her babys organs to those in need. While she received the worst call a mother can... dozens received the call they were waiting for.

Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandmas and grandpas, uncles aunts and friends - Hug your babies. You never know when it may be the last time. Dont hold grudges. Life is too short. Petty things arent worth fighting or not speaking to a loved one.

RIP Marky, you have lots of people to protect you up there, and keep an eye on us down here.

UPDATE FROM HIS MOTHER: "That was just beautiful Kristin. Thank you so much! I found out today that Mark's heart went to an 8 year old boy and they found recipients for his kidneys and liver. While I am sitting here grieving, 3 mothers are holding their babies with a brighter future. Marky lives on...

Day 5, 6 & 7 of the Photo Challenge

Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you've been to.



Dominican Republic. So much fun!

Day 06 - A picture that shows your true self.



Mother and wife, among many other titles. :) Diva was cooking in the belly here.


Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.




Jesus and God our Father. They have shown us such great things, and without them, none of these would be possible. Thank you Lord!